Are You a Trail/True Runner?

--- Blake Wood, Mary Fuka, Skip Eastman, and Tracey Chmielewski (1995)


Start from 0, do the arithmetic

  1. Which would you prefer to run:
    1. The Boston Marathon in under 3 hours (-1)
    2. The Pike's Peak Marathon in under 5 hours (+1)
    3. The Hardrock Hundred, and you don't care about the time (+2)
    4. A 50k with no T-shirt - it's just a training run (+3)
    5. It doesn't have a name, you don't have a number, you hope you'll be back by next week, but you're not particular (+3)

  2. How long it takes a pair of shoes to lose that "new" look:
    1. Two weeks (-1)
    2. Three days (0)
    3. One day (+1)
    4. When you take them out of the store for a test run (+2)
    5. You can't tell the color of your shoes after the test run (+3)

  3. Running vs. work:
    1. You can get in your run at lunch (-1)
    2. You have missed a meeting at work because that loop was a little longer than you thought (+1)
    3. You have missed more than a day at work because that loop was a little longer than you thought (+2)
    4. You use your sick time for those mid-week mountain runs (+3)
    5. You use all your vacation time to travel to trail races (+4)

  4. Distance:
    1. Three miles a day is enough for anybody (-1)
    2. You've detoured in a race to top a peak or see what's over the next ridge (+1)
    3. You've detoured to see what's over the next mountain range (+2)
    4. You've crossed three or more county lines during one run (+3)

  5. Timing your runs:
    1. You time your workouts (-1)
    2. You record your times (-1)
    3. You don't. The extra weight of the calendar is a nuisance (+2)

  6. Running attire:
    1. You don't need bleach to keep your socks and T-shirts white (-1)
    2. All your running socks are tobacco brown (+1)
    3. Your children empty your socks and pan for gold (+2)

  7. Directions:
    1. You have all four of your routes memorized (-1)
    2. You carry a topo map (+2)
    3. Who needs a map - you're prepared to bivouac (+3)
    4. You can live for a week on the contents of your fanny pack (+4)

  8. Your condition when you return from your regular run:
    1. Sweating (-1)
    2. Bleeding (+1)
    3. Your blood has thickened from extended exposure to altitude (+2)
    4. Blood? Like you have any left? (+3)

  9. Peeing on the run:
    1. You look around for a gas station restroom (-1)
    2. You can pee anywhere you want on the run (+1)
    3. You can pee anywhere you want, and in fact must do so to mark and defend your territory from other trail animals (+2)

  10. Conditions on the run:
    1. You've fallen and scraped your knee on the sidwalk (-1)
    2. You've gotten dirt in your mouth or up your nose (+1)
    3. You don't fall. If you did, you'd be dead (+2)

  11. Run duration:
    1. You rarely run more than 30 minutes (-1)
    2. You have gotten so lost that someone had to come looking for you (+1)
    3. No one really expects you back until next month (+2)

  12. Running through hazards:
    1. You stubbed your toe once on a curb (-1)
    2. You have had to pull cactus thorns from your shoe or a yucca spine from your shin (+1)
    3. You don't bother pulling thorns or spines out unless they've still got a cactus or bush attached (+2)
    4. You don't bother to detach the rattlesnake from your body unless it's impeding your progress (+3)

  13. Weather and your favorite run:
    1. When it's raining, you run on your treadmill (-1)
    2. There are times you can't do your favorite run because of mud or high water (+1)
    3. There are times you can't do your favorite run because of falling rocks, wildfire, avalanche danger, or flash flood warnings (+2)
    4. There are times you go on your favorite run despite falling rocks, wildfire, avalanche danger, or flash flood warnings (+3)
    5. There are times you go on your favorite run because of falling rocks, wildfire, avalanche danger, or flash flood warnings (+4)



Score Yourself:

< 5 A true road runner - may your PRs ever decrease .
5-10 Time to buy a trail pack and head uphill.
11-15 Good potential - keep trying.
16-20 Hardcore trail runner.
21-25 You run with wolves.
26-30 You are a wolf.
>30 Sasquatch speaks of you with awe.